Friends Getting Married

So our dear friend and fellow lactose intolerant power-defecator, AK, is getting married this weekend up in Lake Tahoe to a reputedly brilliant and verifiably kick-ass young woman; and I think I speak for all the authors of this humble-yet-regionally-famous blog when I clench my favorite neck-punchin’ fist and shriek “Booyaghh!!!” (Or “Yahtzee!”, for those of you not from the streets)

Yeah, that’s right jerks, two young people in love who somehow escaped the corrosive forces of the relentless, baby-jesus-stabbing gay cabal, and will be following through with that supposedly-extinct ritual of relationshipness: Regular, good ol’ fashioned, animal-free marriage, with a Rabbi and everything. Take that, homos!

Seriously though, I can’t friggin’ wait. Not only am I happy as a god damned Crack n’ Prozac Bouquet for my friends A ‘n A and their joyous union, the weekend itself promises maximum hilarity; for whenever the Space Bastards assemble on the west coast, great things happen: Drinks are consumed, eyeglasses are broken, Asian kids tumble down mountains, people jump straight onto their faces on the cold, wet sidewalks, and noses are pulverized. Things are looking good.